Irked.

It's actually fairly early for me to be writing. Nothing has happened yet today, though I seriously doubt anything worthwhile will. Tonight is Jazz Night at work, and I have to open, but unless we are really busy, they will cut me by 8pm. THIS is why I have no money. Uggggggggggh.

So everyone Facebooks, right? I have one, Steve has one... my mom and dad even have one. I know that the point of a FB is to keep in touch with people that you may not talk to otherwise... or people that you haven't seen in a long time. It's great to keep in touch with people for long ago. The thing that irks me about FB is that secrets can lurk behind the scenes. I could be talking to someone through messages or IM and you would never know it.

Well... fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. This morning, I found out that Steve was keeping secrets on FB. Not like, cheating secrets, but ones that he clearly thinks will be hurtful, because he didn't tell me. He has been messaging/IMing his ex-girlfriend. Now mind you, the ex is currently married and pregnant with her first child. So why is it bothering me, you ask? Well... she was "the one." She was the girlfriend that Steve was going to marry, until she cheated on him. There went that idea. He spent years recovering from that relationship. He dated one girl between the ex and myself, and the word "date" is used loosely.

Mind you, I am currently "the one." I am the one that he wants to marry and have babies with and never leave me. But hearing that doesn't make it any easier to know that there was a "one" before me. And that he still talks to her.

The first time this happened, the argument was that it would just be once. He just wanted to congratulate her on the pregnancy, etc... but it hasn't been just once. Apparently they type/write/whatever to one another regularly. Now, how is that supposed to make me feel? I mean, if her husband knew (you know, the man she cheated on Steve with), would he be happy for her? I seriously doubt it. And yet, I am not supposed to angry about this. But I am. And if roles were reversed and I was talking to someone that I used to date behind Steve's back, he would be angry as well. Probably angrier.

I don't even know how to deal with the situation. I am annoyed more than anything... annoyed that he felt the need to hide this. And really, I have better things to worry about than some woman who lives hundreds of miles away with a whole other family. Still no job, still stressed, and now annoyed.

I think I'm going to go Wii. It'll take my mind off of things. Hopefully.

"Hello Morning... Whatcha got for me today? My heart is breaking. Spread my wings and fly away."