Counter-productive

I think my brain cells actually died today. I have done absolutely nothing but watch TV. I didn't even take my dog out today, I made Steve do it.

Thankfully, I have volleyball practice tonight, and a going-away party to attend.

I coach 5-7 grade (11-13 year olds) girls volleyball. I love them and I love coaching. It's amazing how no matter how bad my day has been, I will go to practice and they make my day better. They have this... reverance for me. A respect that you can only get from people that look to you, that appreciate and take in everything you say. Although, I don't think all of them listen, I know they atleast respect me. And it's not just because I'm older than them... it's because I know what I am doing. I teach them what they need to know, and, most of the time, it works.

I think I need that feeling from a job. I actually got a call today from First Citizen's Bank about a part-time teller position. I haven't decided if I am going to call them back yet or not. I really need the job, and I should not be picky, but I want something worthwhile. I got an f*ing bachelor's degree for a reason. I know what the hell I am doing. And yet, my talents, skills, attributes... All worthless to the working world.

I guess I am just holding out for the phone call that says "We want YOU." Haha, Army style.

I was looking online today to see what kind of jobs were available in Delaware... A lot of them were similar to those available down here. I mean, I realize that this economy thing is a national epidemic, but it doesn't make it any easier. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one. It's hard not to.

I had a huge scare this morning.. my Sprint bill was overdue, and I had put a payment on it yesterday. Mind you, my $500 rent check is coming out of my account this week, as well as the $30 of gas I had put in my car. Well, the payment system screwed up and charged me double what I wanted to put on the bill. I opened my Wachovia account this morning and instantly began crying. There wasn't enough money to cover all of it... and then I spent almost 2 hours on the phone with both Sprint and Wachovia trying to cancel the extra payment. I don't think I have ever been this destitute in my life.

I guess before I was always living off of my parents, and now... well, it's my responsibility. It's amazing how you never realize exactly how lucky you are until the roles have changed and you don't feel so lucky. I guess only time will tell if life will turn around. I pray it does.


"Nothing happens by chance, my friend... There's no such thing as luck. There's a meaning behind every little thing, and such, a meaning behind this. Part for you, part for me, we may not see it all real clear right now, but we will, before long."