First blog entry... 2 months unemployed.

I was talked into starting this blog by my best friend/ex-roommate in North Carolina. At first, I was skeptical... Dubious, to say the least. After thinking about it for a while, and feeling stressed and anxious about having no one to talk to, no one I felt that understood, I decided that, maybe, just maybe it was a good idea.

I have now been unemployed for almost 2 months. I graduated December 13, 2008. With a degree that no one can use. I almost HAVE to go back to graduate school, and yet, I am nowhere near ready to make that leap. At this point, I might have to though.

Of course, I wait tables. I am a server at the classiest restaurant in Greenville NC. It took me a long time to even get THAT job, and I still believe I got it out of sheer luck. Thankfully, I love my bosses and everyone that I work with. To some level, they keep me sane, because several of them are unemployed as well. We commiserate when we get to work. It's nice to have company in my pity party.

Obviously, the term "unemployed" is being used loosely. I technically have a job. I make money during the week. I can even pay my bills on time when budgeted correctly. But I sit at home all day long with my puppy and mope. I don't have anything to do from 8am-5pm besides stew in my own misery. I apply for jobs, scan the employment websites and scour the newspapers for opportunity. The problem is that I live in a small town, with limited opportunity and lots of college kids, current and alumnus.

And right now, I refuse to move home. What good will that do me? I will be leaving the life that I have made here, including several amazing friends... and my boyfriend of 3 and some odd years. I guess if worse comes to worse I will make the leap, but I am holding out at this point for my big break. I still believe it will come, and I guess if it doesn't I need to suck it up and apply for grad school. Not my idea of a fun summer considering I need 5 classes, and my GREs all before August 1, 2009. See why I am hesitating to apply? I would rather apply this fall and take my classes over the course of the next year. Buuuuut, with no steady income, that "I-am-not-going-until-next-year" decision is hard to stick with.

In the course of my unemployment, I have spent more money than I have made. I traveled home, which by the way is in Newark, Delaware, for a week and half over Christmas... Spending money on presents, food and drinks out with friends. I then traveled to Las Vegas NV, spending WAY more money than I make in a month. I am also a TERRIBLE compulsive shopper. It takes a LOT for me to restrain myself when given the opportunity to buy that gorgeous dress (on sale at Target! Why not?), or a cute pair of shoes (But they are buy one, get one 1/2 off... It's a good deal, right?). I am even worse when I go to the grocery story, buying items that I don't even eat! As money dwindles, I get better at not buying things that I don't need... but that doesn't mean I don't want to, or that I haven't thought about it. I just keep telling myself that rent is due, or my Best Buy payment is about to be processed. So far it has helped, but if I get a real job... my first investment is going to be something REALLY expensive.

I think that's enough for today. I could write my life story, but then what will I talk about tomorrow?

"Well relationships change,
Oh I think it's kinda strange,
How money makes a man grow.
Some people they claim,
If you get enough fame,
You live over the rainbow.
Over the rainbow..."